Internship @ APLA, update 1

I have officially started my summer internship at AIDS Project Los Angeles, the largest AIDS organization in the greater LA area. I work in the Community-Based Research (CBR) department, which is a program under the general umbrella of public health education. I work with Bryce and Tara, who are the study coordinators. Some of the studies that we are currently working on deal with the efficacy of treatment advocacy programs, perceptions of "sex drugs" (drugs that are highly correlated with sex, such as alcohol and meth), and social networks of men who have sex with men (msm) and its relationship to HIV risk.

Thus far, I would consider myself a pretty productive intern. I've done mostly database work, coding surveys and interviews, updated the references library extensively, and conducted some literature searches. Tomorrow, I will be learning proper protocol to contact physicians and interview etiquette. On Thursday, I will be attending an important meeting that will determine the fate of the treatment advocacy program at APLA. Due to (surprise) funding cuts, some aspects of the organization are getting nixed, and Bryce thought it would be nice for me to sit in (and possibly hold signs!). This is a full-forced rally (in my mind it is, at least). Not sure what to expect, but excited.

Not Enough Wasted Time

When I had too much time on the plane ride yesterday, caught between reading Monocle, doodling ugly drawings in my journal, and snacking on 100 calorie Oreo bits, I was contemplating this notion of expectation--why that we feel expected to do xyz. Especially after hanging out with newly graduated folks fresh out of college, the big question becomes: What now? What are they going to do now?

We are expected to figure out our lives after college and have a justification for our choices. Struggling to tackle this quarter-life crisis that has become too uncomfortably strange and familiar. I would have been the same way last year or even several months ago, but now I'm thinking twice. I don't want to be caught up in this constant cycle of expectation and fulfillment because it seems I'm searching for the wrong answers to the wrong questions. It's hard to break away from this path: the sooner we find job security, the sooner we have financial and social safety and comfort.

But what about exploration? The room for mistakes? If life's work should be about passion, I don't know if anyone can figure that out while juggling academics + etc. It's unfair that we are punished for not knowing. Maybe this is a bigger problem for tense people like myself, but I think all college students understand my concern more or less. The environment that produces this stress, the environment that requires internships every summer, a high GPA, stellar list of extracurriculars... what is it all for? I made the mistake once in high school, and overachieving isn't answering the bigger questions of life. I hate it but reluctantly oblige to it nonetheless.

I should be expected to enjoy summers and to take a breather. I really hope summer 2009 is that and more. I'm back home now, and I feel good. I want to waste time doing teenager things. Doing mundane things. Redecorating my room. Going to tons of concerts. Retail therapy. Coffee with friends. Catching up on tv series. Doing nothing--and loving it.

Obama Shoes?

President Obama, you've become the muse of many artists over the past few years, including David Choe and Frank Shepard Fairey. On the flip, the image of your face has also been abused, and these shoes shocase it very well.
I don't care if these shoes are emblematic of change--they are quite heinous. Just like Crocs. And Uggs.
And for $39.99 a pair, that's offensive.

Doing Good(e)

Of course, appropriate that GOOD blog would talk about ABC's new show, The Goode Family, a sitcom about environmentalism. The question to ask is: too soon? Have we gotten to the point where we can make fun of being politically correct yet? We shall see.

The clip looks pretty funny.
New buzz phrase? "WWAGD": what would Al Gore do?

Check out the blog post here and watch the video. I'm actually quite excited for it. Maybe I'll go from Gossip Girl to Goode-doers. Of course, while watching the Star Trek series from the beginning because the movie was that good.

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In Pittsburgh right now. Saw TV on the Radio yesterday. Awesome. They rocked out in an old church.
Going to Falling Water right now, which I'm stoked for because I've always wanted to see it after learning about it in art history class.

peel, stick, rip.

yesterday, i spent a good half hour taking strips of 3m wall tape off my posters. those suckers are quite misleading--sure they don't take off paint, but it doesn't cancel out the fact that they take off pieces of my posters.

some of my posters are old friends--paris&eiffel tower, beatles, james dean.
others are newly added acquaitances--marilyn monroe, japanese deer, absinthe goddess.

along the slanted slopes of my ceiling, these posters sat. and watched. collected dust. got ripped a couple times. but they remained.

the old friends are a little more tattered. but after the fight that took place yesterday, i would say my new acquaintances don't mind the external bruises.

each time i peeled off part of my poster, i winced. it didn't feel quite comfortable, but at the end of the day, i didn't really matter. the poster was still there. with each peel, i felt that a little part of me escape as well.

people prefer to be sponges, soaking in all the newness they can.
i prefer thinking that people are big blobs, and along the way pieces of you fall off, eventually forming a more defined silhouette, ready to be scratched up some more.

right now, i sit like a big blob, albeit a tired/hungry/in disbelief blob. everything is packed away, including the posters. each year they become more wrinkled with time, more faded by sun, they are packed away safely for eight months, and the cycle will then continue in 2010.

as i take a eight month break from duke, i'm excited to see what is in store. perhaps i'll bring some friends back to greet those barren walls.

notable quotables III

"You look so fobby in your profile picture."
-jLeg in reference to my mullet hair.

"Asians are so hip"
-a highly confused jKun.

"Why don't you go and do something about it"
-aBeut's comment about my b**ching. very true indeed.

"Black is back."
"Yeah, they are. I didn't think it was ever out of style though..."

Two Pros One Con

Pros:
-JAxt invited me over for dinner--chicken, mash potatoes, and salad. It was a nice break from school food.
-I ordered some purple jeans today. We'll see how well those fly.

Cons:
Never am I ever cramming a 10 page paper in one day again. I don't want to deal with it.