Rocking the Subpar

1) I slept way too late last night, but it was for good reasons. Got to bond with our pre-frosh. She's so sweet and I would love for her to come, but secretly, I hope she gets into Princeton or Yale.
2) Having all the new blood here makes me feel so giddy...wise...old...young...all at the same time. Mostly, it saddens me that I won't ever be as naive and excited for anything in my life again. College has been great--it's a learning and growing process, but sometimes I wish I could hit "reverse" and start off all over again, just so I could experience the uncertainty and rush one more time. One more time...(daft punk continues)
3)I'm going to NYC for sure this summer! Excitement and elation doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. Honestly, I don't know how I feel because I don't know what to expect. I like being throw into things and just working from there. Can't wait.
4) Caribou Tuesday! asjdflajsldfkj;lasjdfljasldf
in computer lingo: too overwhelmed with emotion to type anything coherent. Something I wish Recess had more commentaries on different social phenomenons. Hib's sandbox this week was pretty brill. In high school, we did spoofs on Myspace and emo and urban dictionary. It's not "academic" enough though. Totally understandable.
5) I'm ridiculously stressed right now. I need to finish a draft for my paper before 5, then I have to go sing 2 songs with Sapphire and spend the remaining 3 hours sitting and doing nothing. Absolutely awesome that we're opening and closing the show. After that, more work resumes: make up quiz monday (chinese), test tuesday (psy), test wed (chinese), memo thursday (pubpol).
6) I"m doing a lot of growing right now. Getting better at handling situations. Realizing that I really do enjoy my independence. And that I am slightly manipulative, with no harmful intentions though. I'm not perfect, but I'll work on it.
7) TBA



Now I'm divided
Like a flock of birds when excited
And picture circles in the sky
You can't believe me
Like all of the others who leave me
And feel their shapes across the aisle

Twirl things around us
And the shadows they left as they found us
Or running fingers through your hair
It's life that ended and the tracks that they left as they ascended
They'll picture circles in the air

Sometimes in her eyes I see forever
I can't believe what we've found
I know in time we'll be together
And now our love will make this sound




Why is Barack Obama so captivating? Why is his voice so...silky, and calming, but all the while prominent?
I'm watching his speech on race for the second time, and it's still intriguing to listen to him.
True, all the things he says isn't anything new. The issue of race has been debated and acknowledged and abused and debated some more. Yeah, I know the issues that we currently face aren't all about race. Yeah, I know the presidency shouldn't be about race.
But somehow, he just packages it in a way that makes it concrete. Defined. Lifted up in the best manner possible. Obama is reassuring. I feel like if I giant wave were about to swallow me up, he could stand next to me and tell me everything is going to be ok, and I'd believe him.
It's this trust that people see in him that makes him such a great orator and leader. However, I'm still uncertain whether this trust will take us far enough. This hope, will it actually materialize into anything feasible and practical?
Practical vs visionary...
I'm still slightly undecided, but I think the practical is out of the question at this point (sorry hill, I thought you really might have had a chance earlier).
Oh well, what can I do?
We should just work with what we have and make the best of it.
Obama, don't fuck it up.


The Milk of Human Kindness

2:13 p.m.
In the dorm.
Just came back from a picnic lunch and casual lounging on the various dorm benches that proudly define the main quad (notice that I chose other people’s benches over my very own).
Sunglasses shade my eyes. Headphones in ears. Reading, for a bit, before it gets too hot and my perpetual headache wants to intensify and make life miserable again.
Note: perpetual headache is never going away. Perpetual headache fueled by my lack of sleep? Perhaps. My lack of caffeine? Could very well be. My quasi-addiction to Tylenol? Sure, why not. But maybe it’s just thinking too much? Oh, of course not. Me? Thinking too much? That’s absurd…
All I know is, it’s been a couple days and my brain feels inflamed. I wake up slightly unrefreshed, slightly tortured, wondering, in the slightest bit, what I need to go to get rid of you, headache. Maybe an Ode, to mark your victory and my defeat against you? Maybe I should just continue taking more painkillers. According to Brent, there’s nothing wrong with addiction to drugs (he was joking, but not really). For now, I’ll patiently wait it out. I have faith that you’ll soon die out.
But back to me lounging. It’s fabulous. Clear skies, light breeze, no humidity. I attempted to take a nap on the bench, but overheating perpetuated Headache.
There are probably 10 other people in my dorm: one RA that I’ve seen so far, the five boys who stayed to play WOW and stare at their computer screen (wait, that sounds like every other day for them…), my good friend Allie, the couple foreign exchange students…and that’s about it.
It’s funny sitting outside and watching people go by because you know they’re thinking the same thing I am: Boy, you look miserable.
One has their backpack on, trekking to the library; one is stepping out to see the sunlight once before entering back into his dorm for another 23.5 hours. There are people I’ve never seen before, people you think you know but probably don’t, the hall mate that you never talk to but should at some point so you can fill out the sheet our RA gave you, asking for a nice commentary on every 2nd floor GA girl. But not right now. I’m lounging, it’s spring break, and I don’t want to do anything.
My trip to Virginia Beach was really great. I performed my solo for the first time and it was awesome. I got to know the girls in my a cappella group a lot better. We played one too many rounds of Mafia, typecasted others during Superlatives (apparently I would mostly like be on a reality TV show, go streaking and again, be on Survivor), and just grew closer to God. This trip was a spiritual renewal for me. For the past couple months, I’ve been battling with Christianity and even religion within itself. It seems so ridiculous that millions of people are reading this book called the Bible and basing their entire life on it. Why this one book? For all anyone knows, it could have been written by some possessed cult-followers and then mass-distributed to people who were looking for something to cling onto. Who knows?
But religion is about more than believing the book and going to church—it’s about bringing out the better side of human nature. Christianity does that for me. I like the teachings, the way it explains compassion, love and sacrifice. I like that God allows me to screw up. I like the connection it draws with others. At the end of the day, it’s all faith. Religion touches upon human nature, the meaning of life, redemption…basically, all the bigger things people don’t like pondering about all day. Anything that brings out the better side of me is something to be happy and blessed for.
Right now, I’m just truly content with having such great friends and family. There’s nothing I really want to complain about because I know everything will work out.

That’s what I have been up to lately. I was even motivated to read the Bible at a coffee shop yesterday (after a little bit of High Fidelity, of course ☺).

Plans for the rest of today: Watching the Office, reading, dinnering/hookahing.
ToDo for rest of break: review art exhibit, figure out summer plans, clean room (more), research for writing class, call/catch up with people.