The Milk of Human Kindness

2:13 p.m.
In the dorm.
Just came back from a picnic lunch and casual lounging on the various dorm benches that proudly define the main quad (notice that I chose other people’s benches over my very own).
Sunglasses shade my eyes. Headphones in ears. Reading, for a bit, before it gets too hot and my perpetual headache wants to intensify and make life miserable again.
Note: perpetual headache is never going away. Perpetual headache fueled by my lack of sleep? Perhaps. My lack of caffeine? Could very well be. My quasi-addiction to Tylenol? Sure, why not. But maybe it’s just thinking too much? Oh, of course not. Me? Thinking too much? That’s absurd…
All I know is, it’s been a couple days and my brain feels inflamed. I wake up slightly unrefreshed, slightly tortured, wondering, in the slightest bit, what I need to go to get rid of you, headache. Maybe an Ode, to mark your victory and my defeat against you? Maybe I should just continue taking more painkillers. According to Brent, there’s nothing wrong with addiction to drugs (he was joking, but not really). For now, I’ll patiently wait it out. I have faith that you’ll soon die out.
But back to me lounging. It’s fabulous. Clear skies, light breeze, no humidity. I attempted to take a nap on the bench, but overheating perpetuated Headache.
There are probably 10 other people in my dorm: one RA that I’ve seen so far, the five boys who stayed to play WOW and stare at their computer screen (wait, that sounds like every other day for them…), my good friend Allie, the couple foreign exchange students…and that’s about it.
It’s funny sitting outside and watching people go by because you know they’re thinking the same thing I am: Boy, you look miserable.
One has their backpack on, trekking to the library; one is stepping out to see the sunlight once before entering back into his dorm for another 23.5 hours. There are people I’ve never seen before, people you think you know but probably don’t, the hall mate that you never talk to but should at some point so you can fill out the sheet our RA gave you, asking for a nice commentary on every 2nd floor GA girl. But not right now. I’m lounging, it’s spring break, and I don’t want to do anything.
My trip to Virginia Beach was really great. I performed my solo for the first time and it was awesome. I got to know the girls in my a cappella group a lot better. We played one too many rounds of Mafia, typecasted others during Superlatives (apparently I would mostly like be on a reality TV show, go streaking and again, be on Survivor), and just grew closer to God. This trip was a spiritual renewal for me. For the past couple months, I’ve been battling with Christianity and even religion within itself. It seems so ridiculous that millions of people are reading this book called the Bible and basing their entire life on it. Why this one book? For all anyone knows, it could have been written by some possessed cult-followers and then mass-distributed to people who were looking for something to cling onto. Who knows?
But religion is about more than believing the book and going to church—it’s about bringing out the better side of human nature. Christianity does that for me. I like the teachings, the way it explains compassion, love and sacrifice. I like that God allows me to screw up. I like the connection it draws with others. At the end of the day, it’s all faith. Religion touches upon human nature, the meaning of life, redemption…basically, all the bigger things people don’t like pondering about all day. Anything that brings out the better side of me is something to be happy and blessed for.
Right now, I’m just truly content with having such great friends and family. There’s nothing I really want to complain about because I know everything will work out.

That’s what I have been up to lately. I was even motivated to read the Bible at a coffee shop yesterday (after a little bit of High Fidelity, of course ☺).

Plans for the rest of today: Watching the Office, reading, dinnering/hookahing.
ToDo for rest of break: review art exhibit, figure out summer plans, clean room (more), research for writing class, call/catch up with people.

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