I know my ABCs, part I

A is for academia and all of its lovely theoretical abstractions, where one sentence is supposed to be enough to preface all the chauvinistic BS contradictions that follow. That one sentence doesn't make the work anymore thoughtful or qualified.

B is for bathroom. Every time I step foot into a bathroom in NYC, I think to myself:
"Eight Million People Might Have Passed Through Here." Which leads me to think about

Contracting a plethora of unwanted STDs.

D is for my constant state of disillusionment as to waking up every morning and remembering I'm in NYC and that I'm having the time of my life.

E is for the elevators. The elevators at 92nd St Y (my home for the summer) are incredibly slow. The elevators in the subway are incredibly stank and wreak of urine. The Elevator Song is quite possibly the lamest thing created.

F is for facts. I love facts. I've been taking in a lot of facts this summer and here are a few from my readings.
Fact: 45% of the EU's budget is spent in agriculture, mostly payments to farmers. That's a $120 billion agriculture subsidy. That's sad.
Fact: America is a great place to get rich. Ratio between the earnings of a top tier American CEO and the average joe at a manufacturing company is 475:1. WTF.
Fact: Oxford commas are legit. I'm starting to like them. Sorry VW.

G is for golf and how 60 year-old-men should not try to pick up girls with the topic of golf because mentioning tiger woods and an invitation to drink wine in the same sentence just doesn't seem right.

H is for how I wish it were Hot. and not cold. and rainy. and not miserable.

I is for Ice Cream. FYI, NY has both Pink Berry and Yogurtlands now. Tasti-Ds is going to run out of business. Hip Hip Hooray for Globalization!

J is for June, Jessie, Juice and all the other wonderful things in life. Ha, shameless self promotion. P.S. It's my mom's birthday!

K is for Karaoke. Sad to say, but I think Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" is going to haunt me for the rest of my life, no matter where I am. Could of belted out Clumsy, Baish, but the American Idol-wannabes took too damn long.

TBC